When It Feels Hard: How to Keep Going Without Starting Over
The Christian Life Coach Podcast, Episode 63
You’ve started making changes. You’re showing up differently.
And it still feels hard.
That’s the moment most people quit. But it doesn’t have to be.
Hard Is Not a Problem
When you step out of autopilot, resistance shows up.
It feels:
uncomfortable
repetitive
inconvenient
sometimes even boring
This is expected.
The Lie That Stops You
“If this was working, it would feel easier by now.”
This thought sounds true. But it keeps you stuck in cycles of stopping and starting.
What Is Actually Happening
Your brain is trying to keep you safe.
It wants comfort, certainty, and ease.
But growth requires something different.
Emotional Maturity Matters
You don’t need to feel like it to follow through.
You need to be willing to feel discomfort and keep going.
That is self-leadership.
What To Do When You Want To Quit
Name what’s happening
Tell yourself the truth
Take one small action
Repeat
You don’t quit because it’s hard.
You become someone who can handle hard.
Watch Here:
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Hello!
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You have started.
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You are showing up.
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And you're working on being consistent.
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And then…
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You realize, it still feels hard.
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It shouldn't feel this hard.
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Maybe this isn't working.
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Maybe this just isn't for me.
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I want you to know, nothing has gone wrong.
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This is exactly where most people quit.
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And today, we're going to talk about
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how to stay.
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Hello and welcome to the Christian Life Coach Podcast.
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We have been talking about how you are always creating your life,
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And… how to do that on purpose.
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you have… we have talked about how…
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to see the default patterns.
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And start shifting them.
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And then how to stay consistent.
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And today, we are talking about what happens next.
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Because this is where most people quit.
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It still feels hard.
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Today, we're going to talk about why that happens,
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what it actually means,
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And how to keep going?
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And not starting over again.
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Staying in it. So…
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Let's just…
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normalize…
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It's hard.
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Hard as expected!
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We expect it to be hard.
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When we set a goal,
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When we decide to create on purpose,
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When we are putting…
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into action.
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the consistent practices.
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in order to live on purpose,
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We need to expect resistance.
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That is one of the things. Expect
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resistance. And this…
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Episode is about one of those areas of resistance.
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We think…
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that it should be easy by now.
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And so, we just want to know…
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Nothing's gone wrong.
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We expected it to be hard.
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When we do something new, our brain is resisting it.
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Our body is resisting it.
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And our habits are resisting it.
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It's going to feel uncomfortable.
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It's going to feel repetitive.
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Dare I say, it may even feel boring.
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Or, inconvenient!
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And I just want to say that…
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Hard is not a red flag.
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Hard is not a red flag.
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Hard is not a stop sign.
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Hard is a sign.
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that you're no longer on autopilot,
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And that you are engaged.
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We often think…
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a lie in some form of,
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If this was working, it would feel easier by now.
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And not lie sounds reasonable.
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It might even feel true.
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But it keeps you…
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in that loop of stopping and starting, and stopping and starting, and giving up,
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And having to start all over again.
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So we… what we want to do is, we want to recognize
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the lie, when…
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it shows up in our mind.
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And any version of, if this was working, it would feel easier by now. It should be easier by now. It shouldn't be this hard.
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We want to recognize those thoughts,
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And we want to replace those thoughts, those lies,
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With the truth.
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It only gets easier.
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When you keep going.
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Not before. It doesn't get easier so that you can keep going.
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It gets easier.
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the more and more you keep going.
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Ease is a result of repetition.
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Not a requirement.
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For you to continue.
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Ease is a result of repetition.
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The more you do the hard things,
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the easier they get.
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the more you give up on hard things,
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the easier…
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giving up gets.
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And… and to normalize all of it, like, your brain is trying to protect you.
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Your brain is doing its job.
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Back to the… that motivational triad.
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Your brain wants to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and exert as little energy as possible.
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You're brain wants comfort.
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Your brain wants certainty.
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Your brain wants efficiency.
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Your brain wants to see progress to know that this is actually worth the effort.
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Am I getting pleasure out of this?
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Is this easy and not causing me pain?
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Is this not making me exert extra energy?
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Your brain is doing its job.
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So, when…
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you feel…
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When… when it feels hard,
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When it is unfamiliar,
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when there's uncertainty, those are all feelings of discomfort, right? Those all cause discomfort.
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And your brain is like, okay, hold up, stop.
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No more. You've done enough.
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take a break. Let's let this go. It's not working.
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It's too hard.
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your brain is not trying to ruin your progress, it's trying to keep you safe.
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But… safety…
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And growth are not the same thing.
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Now, I'm not saying go put yourself in danger.
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There's no danger here.
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The danger that your brain thinks that you are
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going to be in.
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is the danger of…
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Avoiding pleasure.
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Seeking Pain.
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and exerting more energy. That's the danger you're in.
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You're in danger of giving up pleasure right now.
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for true, lasting pleasure in the future.
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you are experiencing the pain of…
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pushing through.
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Pushing against their resistance.
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your resistance training.
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So, we can… we can engage in that level of unsafety, right?
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That is the requirement.
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of growth.
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And…
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Because we know these things,
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We want to…
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be emotionally mature. We want to be emotionally mature maturing.
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When we are obeying our feelings, giving in to every feeling that we
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feel. It's too hard…
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It's uncomfortable.
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It's not working, create feelings of that uncertainty.
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Unfamiliarity.
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And we obey those feelings.
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That is not emotional maturity.
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When we are waiting on motivation.
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thinking, ugh, I just don't feel like it.
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I'm… I'll do it when I feel motivated.
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Are you ever gonna feel motivated?
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And when we avoid that discomfort of doing it anyway, obeying our feelings, we stay in emotional
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immaturity. But growing, growth,
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transforming, becoming the woman who…
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requires something different.
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We do not need to feel like doing it in order to follow through.
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We need to be willing…
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to feel discomfort,
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Resistance…
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boredom? Doubt?
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And keep going.
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Anyway. This…
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is self-leadership.
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And remember, you're not just trying to…
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Complete a plan,
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reach a goal,
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Complete a habit to get a check mark on your habit tracker, which I love a habit tracker. Do not get me wrong.
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But the check on the habit tracker is not the goal.
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The goal is becoming a woman who follows through.
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Becoming a woman who keeps going.
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Becoming a woman who does hard things.
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on purpose.
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And sometimes without even seeing the benefits yet.
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Maybe you're becoming a woman who is trusting the process, even when I'm not seeing results.
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So, when… when it's feeling hard, when… when the lie pops in that tries to get you to stop,
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Ask yourself.
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What would the woman that I'm becoming do right now?
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That transformed version of myself.
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What would she do in this moment, right now?
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And then, listen to her.
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And do that.
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Now, what to do when you want to quit?
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Number one, name it.
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This feels hard.
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What is it that I'm telling myself?
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That is leading me to want to quit right now.
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This feels hard.
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it's not working.
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And we don't want to dramatize it, you don't want to go on and on and spiral.
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We don't make it mean something about us.
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We just name it. Okay, what's going on here?
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What's… what is leading me to want to quit?
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That's it, just name it.
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Just that awareness makes such a huge difference.
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And then, once you name it,
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tell the truth. What is the truth?
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What is the true response to…
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that lie that you're telling yourself.
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This is part of the progress, or this is part of the process.
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Progress isn't always visible right away. It takes time.
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I'm committed to this process.
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Until.
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And then you do the next small action. You don't do everything at once, it doesn't have to be perfect, just what's the next thing?
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And then you repeat it.
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name… name it.
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What's going on that's making me want to quit?
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Tell yourself the truth,
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the actual truth.
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And then take the next small.
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action.
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Another thing that I like to do is…
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When that…
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I want to quit, even that. I want to quit.
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When that thought comes in,
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I… I will often remind myself…
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It's true. I want to quit right now, in this moment, because I don't feel like doing this right now.
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And also, it's not true, because I do not want to quit.
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I actually do want to accomplish that thing.
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I actually do want to make this change. I actually do want to become the woman who follows through,
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who accomplishes amazing things.
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So, it is not even true that I want to quit.
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And I think that as…
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as Bible-believing, Jesus-loving Christian women,
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I think that there's some…
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belief, this… a misconception that if we're doing what we're supposed to be doing, it should be easy.
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That is simply not true.
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I mean, if you… if there are verses in the Bible that I am missing,
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Please send them to me. Hello at shannapiser.com.
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I don't see anywhere in the Bible
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That we are told it's going to be easy.
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I see where it says, in this world, you have trouble…
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I see where it talks about…
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count it all joy when you have troubles of many kinds.
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And I cannot think of an example in the Bible that God said, go do this thing,
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And the person went and did that thing, and it was easy.
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It was never easy.
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There were obstacles left, right, front,
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center behind, like,
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there were obstacles everywhere.
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Everything that people were told to do in the Bible.
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was hard.
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And we think, oh, I'm supposed to be doing this thing…
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And then we start coming up against obstacles, and we think, oh, I must have heard wrong.
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I must have heard wrong. This is too hard.
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No! You probably heard just right.
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keep going.
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Galatians 6-9 says,
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let us… and I like the amplified version, so this is from the amplified version. Let us not grow weary.
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or become discouraged in doing good.
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for at the proper time, we will reap.
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If we do not give in.
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Keep going.
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Psalm 126.5 says, They who sow in tears
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reap with joyful singing.
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The sewing?
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The sewing is doing the things, keeping going, staying.
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Reminding yourself of why this matters.
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acknowledging the lie that we're trying to tell ourselves, telling ourselves the truth,
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Taking one small action,
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And repeating. That is sewing.
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there might be tears. It's okay.
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That means you're doing it right.
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And just remember, growth takes time. It takes time.
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And whatever it is that you're working on, and it could be weight loss, it could be financial goals, it could be…
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Um, decluttering your house. It could be…
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Um, painting a room, it… whatever it is.
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It's… it's going to take time.
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And faithfulness matters, staying faithful to the process, faithful to the vision,
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Faithful to the desire.
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And staying matters. We're not just doing tasks, we're not just doing things to check off a list. We are in the process
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of being transformed.
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Renewing our mind, so that when it gets hard, we stay.
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We keep going, we remind ourselves of what matters, why it matters, and we are being transformed in the process.
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So,
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During the week, when it gets hard…
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Whatever it is that you're working on, whatever the hard thing is,
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catch… catch that thought.
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Even if it's just, this is too hard,
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Catch that thought, and remind yourself.
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This is part of the process. I keep going anyway.
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And then take a small action.
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acknowledge what's going on in your brain.
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speak truth into it.
00:17:25.971 --> 00:17:27.971
Take action. Repeat.
00:17:30.566 --> 00:17:33.566
You don't quit because it's hard.
00:17:36.422 --> 00:17:38.422
That's… the goal is to…
00:17:38.659 --> 00:17:42.659
keep going, and to become someone that handles hard.
00:17:42.879 --> 00:17:44.879
And also, I will just say…
00:17:46.385 --> 00:17:50.385
You literally do hard things all day, every day, already.
00:17:52.606 --> 00:17:55.606
Everything that you're not… everything that you're doing throughout your days,
00:17:55.654 --> 00:17:57.654
You don't necessarily feel like doing it.
00:18:00.651 --> 00:18:05.651
But, however you're talking to yourself, you keep going, and you keep doing the things.
00:18:06.841 --> 00:18:10.841
You're becoming someone who can handle hard, and we're doing that on purpose.
00:18:12.441 --> 00:18:14.441
You don't need it to feel easier.
00:18:16.764 --> 00:18:18.764
You just need to stay.
00:18:18.764 --> 00:18:21.286
keep going. Every time you stay,
00:18:22.162 --> 00:18:24.162
You are creating the life that you want.
00:18:31.306 --> 00:18:34.306
And kind of, in closing,
00:18:34.780 --> 00:18:36.780
This just kind of popped into my head.
00:18:37.715 --> 00:18:44.715
We are created to do hard things. And like I said, like, there's… there is no evidence in the Bible
00:18:45.500 --> 00:18:47.500
Telling us that it's supposed to be easy.
00:18:49.499 --> 00:18:52.499
If we are only doing easy things,
00:18:54.545 --> 00:18:59.545
Our… our level of life satisfaction is going to be really low.
00:19:01.457 --> 00:19:06.457
When we accomplish things that are hard, that we perceive as difficult,
00:19:06.777 --> 00:19:11.777
And we push through, and we keep going, and we reap the benefits.
00:19:13.124 --> 00:19:15.124
We reap in joy and singing,
00:19:16.624 --> 00:19:19.624
Our level of satisfaction skyrockets.
00:19:21.944 --> 00:19:24.944
it skyrockets. We were made to do hard things.
00:19:28.008 --> 00:19:30.008
So,
00:19:30.372 --> 00:19:32.372
Keep practicing.
00:19:33.379 --> 00:19:35.379
Name the lie that you're telling yourself.
00:19:36.578 --> 00:19:38.578
That is making you want to quit.
00:19:40.768 --> 00:19:42.768
replace it with the truth.
00:19:43.606 --> 00:19:45.606
take the next step.
00:19:47.193 --> 00:19:49.193
And repeat. You've got this.
00:19:50.554 --> 00:19:52.554
Thank you so much for being here.
00:19:53.163 --> 00:19:55.163
Remember that life coaching?
00:19:55.740 --> 00:19:58.740
is life-changing. One renewed thought at a time.
00:19:58.957 --> 00:20:00.957
Have a great week.
