Why You Are Not Taking Action (The Motivational Triad Explained)
Many women believe their biggest problem is a lack of discipline.
They think they are lazy or inconsistent because they struggle to follow through on the things they say they want to do.
But that explanation misses something important.
The real issue often has more to do with how the brain works than with character or willpower.
The Brain’s Survival Wiring
Your brain is designed for survival.
It constantly tries to do three things:
Seek pleasure
Avoid pain
Conserve energy
This pattern is called the Motivational Triad.
Thousands of years ago this wiring helped humans survive dangerous environments. Today it often leads to comfort seeking behaviors like scrolling, procrastinating, or avoiding uncomfortable tasks.
Why This Stops You From Taking Action
When the brain encounters something difficult or uncomfortable, it automatically suggests thoughts that steer you back toward comfort.
That might sound like:
This is too hard.
I will start tomorrow.
I do not feel ready yet.
Those thoughts create emotions such as dread or discouragement. Those emotions lead to avoidance.
Understanding the Creation Cycle
The Creation Cycle helps explain this process.
Circumstances happen.
You have thoughts about those circumstances.
Those thoughts create feelings.
Feelings drive actions.
Actions create results.
When you change your thinking, you change the results you create.
Identity and Action
Another reason people struggle with follow through is identity.
If you repeatedly tell yourself that you are undisciplined or inconsistent, your brain will continue producing actions that support that belief.
Your life often follows your strongest thoughts.
The good news is that identity can be practiced and strengthened over time.
Conclusion
You are not stuck.
You are simply operating from default patterns in the brain.
When you begin to examine your thoughts, allow discomfort, and choose intentional actions, your results begin to change.
Transformation happens one renewed thought at a time.
Watch Here:
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16:05:23 Welcome to the Christian Life Coach Podcast. I am Shanna, your Christian
16:05:29 Life coach. Happy…
16:05:32 March, friends, happy…
16:05:35 March. I'm so glad that you're here.
16:05:37 And… we are…
16:05:41 talking this month.
16:05:43 All about…
16:05:45 taking action.
16:05:47 And today, we are talking about
16:05:51 Why you are not…
16:05:52 taking the action,
16:05:55 that you think you want to be taking, you want to be taking, you keep saying that you're going to be taking,
16:06:02 But you're not doing it.
16:06:04 So, if you…
16:06:06 If you can relate to any of that, then this episode is
16:06:12 For you. Welcome!
16:06:15 Also, I would just like to start off by saying, if…
16:06:19 You would be so kind. I would so appreciate…
16:06:23 If we're listening or watching,
16:06:27 this episode.
16:06:28 If you would be willing to subscribe,
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16:06:54 Um, spread the word and get…
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16:07:01 And applying these amazing principles to make positive change in their life. So…
16:07:07 I appreciate that. Shameless plug, thank you for sticking with me on that.
16:07:14 So, today, we are talking about not taking
16:07:19 Action.
16:07:21 Starting over again on Monday, making plans, but not following through.
16:07:26 Knowing what to do, but not doing it.
16:07:30 Calling yourself lazy or undisciplined.
16:07:36 You do not lack desire, you do not lack information, you are not lazy.
16:07:43 You are running an unmanaged brain.
16:07:49 You lack alignment between your thoughts,
16:07:54 And your actions.
16:07:57 And today, we are going to walk through a creation cycles.
16:08:01 And expose what is actually happening.
16:08:06 So, I just want to remind you…
16:08:11 First of all, of your worth.
16:08:15 You are created in the image of God.
16:08:18 You are fully known by God, you are fully loved by God,
16:08:23 Just as you are.
16:08:28 I love… what is that song? Oh my goodness, it just popped into my head. It's an elevation song.
16:08:36 And Tiffany Hudson sings it, and one of the lines is…
16:08:40 Something like, you always knew there was a better me, but you loved me like I was.
16:08:47 And I love that so much.
16:08:50 You always knew there was a better me, but you loved me like I was. So good.
16:08:55 You are fully known, you are fully loved,
16:08:58 Just as you are.
16:09:01 There is no condemnation. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
16:09:07 God is not condemning you, Jesus is not condemning you.
16:09:10 So stop condemning yourself.
16:09:13 You're welcome.
16:09:15 And…
16:09:17 Also, you are responsible for stewarding
16:09:22 Your mind. You are responsible for stewarding the gifts that God has given you.
16:09:27 You are responsible for stewarding your mind.
16:09:31 to live out being the person that God created you to be, right?
16:09:35 And your brain is wired for survival.
16:09:40 Your brain is wired for survival, and you are called
16:09:45 to be transformed.
16:09:47 by the renewing of your mind.
16:09:49 And the brain and your mind?
16:09:52 a little bit different, but I'm not going to go into that.
16:09:55 So this… your brain is wired for survival, and you're called to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. There's some tension there.
16:10:04 Survival and transformation.
16:10:09 kind of pull against each other, right?
16:10:12 So, there is this thing…
16:10:17 concept called the Motivational Triad.
16:10:21 And as… as I said, our brain is wired for survival,
16:10:26 And our survival brain…
16:10:29 The motivational triad drives it.
16:10:32 It wants to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy.
16:10:39 So, seek pleasure.
16:10:42 in today's world looks like scrolling.
16:10:46 Eating carbs.
16:10:48 and sugary foods.
16:10:51 comfort foods.
16:10:52 Seeking pleasure is seeking your comfort right now.
16:10:57 seeking pleasure is validation. Seeking pleasure is distraction.
16:11:04 Avoiding pain.
16:11:06 Avoiding hard conversations.
16:11:10 Avoiding feeling inadequate.
16:11:12 Feeling behind, feeling exposed.
16:11:15 Avoiding pain is avoiding the risk of failure.
16:11:21 It might, and there's… I mean, these are just… these are very short lists of possibilities for each section.
16:11:28 conserving energy might look like pushing the snooze button. It might look like procrastination.
16:11:34 It might look like staying in planning mode.
16:11:39 over-consuming, thinking, strategizing, trying to make it all perfect.
16:11:45 It might be thinking instead of doing.
16:11:50 And the motivational triad?
16:11:54 is not bad. It's not sinful.
16:11:57 It is a wiring, it's the way that your brain was designed. It kept…
16:12:04 our ancestors alive.
16:12:06 We wanted to… we… we were always in fear mode.
16:12:12 trying to find some pleasure.
16:12:16 Avoiding pain, always on the lookout for danger.
16:12:21 And exerting as little energy as possible, conserving energy, so that we had the energy that we needed to run away from predators.
16:12:34 So, it… it is meant for survival,
16:12:37 But it does not help you build discipline.
16:12:41 It was very default reactive.
16:12:46 So, it kept our ancestors alive, but it doesn't help us build discipline.
16:12:54 Now, what… what does the motivational triad look like in real life?
16:12:59 So, say…
16:13:01 You have decided that you want to be a person that gets up early.
16:13:05 And…
16:13:09 The pleasurable thing is staying in bed.
16:13:15 the…
16:13:17 painful thing…
16:13:19 might be, if you're getting up early to go work out,
16:13:24 The painful thing is working out. It's uncomfortable.
16:13:30 When you conserve energy, sleeping costs nothing. So your brain's like, just stay in bed.
16:13:37 Bed feels good.
16:13:39 Working out is very uncomfortable. It's even uncomfortable to get out of this bed to go work out.
16:13:45 And sleeping, it just feels good. It's… we don't have to
16:13:50 do anything to stay right here.
16:13:54 So, you stay in bed.
16:13:58 Say you want to start a business.
16:14:03 And you want to…
16:14:05 avoid pain.
16:14:08 What pain is there in starting a business?
16:14:11 Um, a lot of things. One is possible rejection.
16:14:16 to conserve energy,
16:14:18 You stay in research mode.
16:14:21 what could I do? What might it look like? That…
16:14:24 That's not a lot of energy. You're consuming, you're not putting…
16:14:28 you're not having to use a lot of energy to put yourself out there to put things out there, to take action.
16:14:37 seek pleasure. Ooh.
16:14:39 I think I'll scroll on my phone instead of build my business.
16:14:46 If you want to lose weight, or get healthy,
16:14:52 Avoiding pain.
16:14:54 might look like staying in my current habits.
16:14:58 Pain would be facing and acknowledging
16:15:04 My… my part is what I weigh, or where I am in my health,
16:15:11 facing my responsibility, or my current habits.
16:15:14 Seeking pleasure is all of that yummy…
16:15:19 comfort food,
16:15:21 just… like…
16:15:23 No, we're just gonna keep eating this, it feels really good.
16:15:26 Conserving energy looks like skipping your food prep.
16:15:30 Right? Or moving your body.
16:15:33 When you don't take the action that…
16:15:38 you plan to take, you know is going to get you the result that you want. When you're not taking action,
16:15:44 You're not broken.
16:15:48 You're not lazy. There's nothing wrong with you.
16:15:52 You are simply in default mode, obeying the motivational triad.
16:15:58 It makes so much sense. And when you can break it down and look at it like that, it's like…
16:16:04 No wonder! Of course!
16:16:07 Of course I keep doing the same things I've always done.
16:16:12 Because it fits into the motivational triad.
16:16:17 And… I want to say but, but I like to say and instead of but.
16:16:23 You are not required to obey every thought your brain offers.
16:16:30 You can be the leader of your brain.
16:16:35 The motivational triad is the default mode.
16:16:40 And we don't have to live in that. We can take leadership,
16:16:45 and engage our prefrontal cortex, our…
16:16:50 Um, our advanced brain, our brain that plans and strategizes
16:16:56 and wants better.
16:17:01 And that is…
16:17:03 moving from default into intention.
16:17:09 So, one…
16:17:12 amazing way to
16:17:14 Um…
16:17:16 to be intentional in the way that you think, to drive the actions that you want to take.
16:17:22 is using the creation cycle, which I have talked about. I actually did a series
16:17:28 A few months back with…
16:17:31 episodes on each section of the creation cycle, if you want to go back and listen to those or watch those.
16:17:37 So, briefly, the creation cycle is…
16:17:40 There are… there are circumstances of life, there are facts that we cannot control.
16:17:46 If you get on the scale today,
16:17:49 The number on the scale is just a fact.
16:17:52 You can't…
16:17:54 There's nothing that you can do today to change the number that showed up on the scale.
16:18:00 today, right?
16:18:01 And then, so that's… there's facts of the world, and then we have a thought.
16:18:06 about the fact.
16:18:08 And that thought…
16:18:11 creates a feeling in our body,
16:18:14 It creates an energy.
16:18:17 an emotion in our body.
16:18:19 And that emotion…
16:18:21 drives us to take action.
16:18:23 Which is either doing something or avoiding doing something.
16:18:29 And then all of those actions together create a result.
16:18:33 that ends up being the circumstance.
16:18:37 So, the motivational triad influences the thoughts that our brain offers us.
16:18:43 And then the creation cycle…
16:18:46 shows us…
16:18:49 How those thoughts create our results. So, if the motivational triad throws out this thought to me,
16:18:55 And I accept it.
16:18:57 And I put that into the creation cycle, you can play out what it's going to look like, and the results that you're going to get.
16:19:06 So, say…
16:19:08 You have decided that you want to get up early and exercise.
16:19:16 The alarm goes off at 6 AM. That's the circumstance. Your alarm goes off.
16:19:20 When your alarm goes off, you think…
16:19:23 This is miserable.
16:19:25 And you feel dread.
16:19:28 Because you don't want to get out of bed, you don't want to go work out.
16:19:32 And the action that you take from feeling dread, because you're thinking this is miserable, is you push the snooze button and you go back to sleep.
16:19:40 And your result is you're reinforcing your inconsistency.
16:19:44 And then, you end up being miserable,
16:19:47 Because you didn't do what you said you were gonna do.
16:19:54 So then you can think, okay, where did that thought come from? Well, of course, the triad.
16:19:59 I wanted to avoid pain. I wanted to seek pleasure, I wanted to conserve energy.
16:20:05 So then, if you decide, okay,
16:20:09 I… I know that it is my default
16:20:13 to push snooze, to avoid the discomfort of getting up,
16:20:17 And putting out all that energy,
16:20:20 And getting out of my cozy bed.
16:20:22 But, I really do want to make a change in my habits. I want to work out in the morning.
16:20:31 What is the thought…
16:20:33 that you can decide to think on purpose when that alarm goes off.
16:20:39 And it could be any number of things.
16:20:43 One I will offer to you is, I'm becoming someone who keeps her word.
16:20:47 So the alarm goes off,
16:20:50 And your automatic thought might be, this is miserable.
16:20:53 And you can say, and I'm becoming someone who keeps her word.
16:20:57 And you might feel determined.
16:20:59 And from that place of determination, your feet hit the ground,
16:21:03 And you go do the thing.
16:21:06 And then your result is…
16:21:09 You have an evidence of discipline.
16:21:12 You have shown yourself that you're becoming a woman who keeps her word.
16:21:17 Same exact circumstance, the alarm goes off.
16:21:21 The way that you think about it, when that changes, your result changes.
16:21:26 Same circumstance.
16:21:29 different thought, different result.
16:21:34 Now, these are the three things that…
16:21:38 keep us from taking action.
16:21:43 Emotional avoidance. You're not avoiding the thing, you're avoiding the feeling.
16:21:51 Seek pleasure.
16:21:52 Excuse me. Avoid pain.
16:21:57 exert as little as little energy as possible. You want to avoid the pain,
16:22:02 of the fear, the embarrassment,
16:22:05 the inadequacy, frustration,
16:22:07 boredom, whatever it is. You're wanting to avoid pain.
16:22:15 And thought…
16:22:18 creates…
16:22:20 discomfort.
16:22:23 discomfort drives your avoidance.
16:22:31 It is… you have to be willing to…
16:22:39 experience some level of discomfort.
16:22:43 in order to take action.
16:22:46 It can be the discomfort of
16:22:49 paying attention to your thoughts.
16:22:51 And working on believing new thoughts so that you take
16:22:57 different action.
16:23:00 If you're unwilling to feel discomfort, you are going to stay the same.
16:23:07 So, we don't take action because we are avoiding emotion.
16:23:14 And when you're willing to feel discomfort,
16:23:17 You can feel any emotion, and you can still take action.
16:23:21 So we have to be willing to feel that discomfort.
16:23:30 We… the second thing is…
16:23:35 confusion about who we are, identity.
16:23:37 We act in alignment with who we believe we are.
16:23:42 If we… if our thoughts about ourselves, if who we believe we are,
16:23:48 If our thoughts say, I always quit, I'm not disciplined, I'm bad with money, I never follow through,
16:23:55 We create feelings of
16:23:58 defeat. And from that defeat, we're going to make
16:24:03 Minimal effort.
16:24:06 And then we reinforce that identity of, I'm a quitter,
16:24:12 I'm undisciplined.
16:24:14 I'm irresponsible.
16:24:16 I'm lazy.
16:24:20 And just remember, I think that it was, um…
16:24:24 Oh my goodness, Craig Groeschel.
16:24:26 says something to the effect of, your life follows your strongest thoughts.
16:24:32 Your identity is not fixed, your identity is practiced.
16:24:36 And we think we're just reporting the news. I always quit.
16:24:40 I'm not disciplined, I'm bad with money,
16:24:42 But really, we're not reporting the news, we're speaking that
16:24:47 to ourselves, and then our brain goes to work to prove that true.
16:24:53 So those… those sentences have consequences.
16:25:01 And then… passive thinking keeps us from taking action, and this can be
16:25:06 Like, apathy.
16:25:09 Waiting to feel motivated, waiting to feel clear, waiting to feel confident.
16:25:14 And this is motivated from
16:25:17 conserving energy. If I'm just waiting for this to happen, then I don't have to do anything.
16:25:24 I don't feel like it, I feel unmotivated.
16:25:28 I don't do anything, and nothing changes.
16:25:32 Motivation is a feeling.
16:25:35 Feelings come from thoughts.
16:25:37 So you can generate different thoughts on purpose.
16:25:41 to create a different emotion.
16:25:49 Now, I mentioned in the beginning, leadership, self-leadership is so
16:25:56 important. Romans 12.2 says, Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
16:26:02 We will be transformed when we do the work.
16:26:06 of renewing our mind.
16:26:08 practicing…
16:26:11 thinking in a way
16:26:12 That leads to the life that we want.
16:26:15 thinking about God in a way
16:26:19 that reinforces our belief.
16:26:22 That instills trust.
16:26:24 that reinforces faith.
16:26:29 Transformation happens by renewing your mind. It's not by eliminating
16:26:34 uncomfortable things. It's not by eliminating resistance.
16:26:39 It's renewing your thoughts.
16:26:42 And then acting in obedience. You are a participant in your transformation.
16:26:49 And I just want to remind you that resistance is not a reason to stop.
16:26:56 It is… it's really the reason to keep going, because when there's resistance, you know
16:27:03 you're going in a… you're doing something important.
16:27:06 You're moving in the right direction.
16:27:10 So, why are you not taking action?
16:27:14 It's not laziness, it's not because you don't want to.
16:27:19 You're avoiding discomfort.
16:27:21 you are believing, limiting identity thoughts.
16:27:26 You're waiting for motivation.
16:27:29 You're obeying the motivational triad without examining it. You're just in that default pattern.
16:27:34 And there's good news. Amazing news. The best news, actually.
16:27:39 You can change your thoughts.
16:27:42 You can allow yourself to feel those negative emotions.
16:27:48 You can.
16:27:50 shift your identity?
16:27:52 And you can train your actions.
16:27:56 And it's… it's not as hard as you think it's going to be, either.
16:28:03 You can be the woman who understands your brain,
16:28:07 and works with it.
16:28:10 The woman who allows
16:28:12 discomfort.
16:28:14 And keeps going.
16:28:17 A woman who chooses her thoughts on purpose?
16:28:22 You can be a woman who acts before you feel ready.
16:28:26 And you're not doing it to earn worthiness, you're doing it because you are worth it.
16:28:34 So,
16:28:37 your assignment is…
16:28:38 Identify one action.
16:28:41 that you've been avoiding.
16:28:45 Um, getting up at a certain time,
16:28:48 drinking water before you have your coffee, working out every day…
16:28:54 Um, whatever it is,
16:28:58 recording a podcast once a week.
16:29:03 So, write down…
16:29:07 What is the thing you've been avoiding, and then…
16:29:09 What is the pleasure that I'm seeking?
16:29:13 In avoiding this thing.
16:29:15 What am… what is the pain that I'm avoiding?
16:29:18 By avoiding this thing.
16:29:20 What energy am I trying to conserve?
16:29:24 And then… do a…
16:29:27 do a creation cycle from this.
16:29:30 So, here's the situation.
16:29:33 Here's my thought, here's my feeling, here's my action.
16:29:41 Not the unintentional.
16:29:44 And then do an intentional creation cycle.
16:29:48 Same circumstance,
16:29:51 What is a new thought?
16:29:53 that I can work on.
16:29:56 reminding myself of that is true and helpful.
16:30:00 That generates the emotion.
16:30:03 That is going to drive that action.
16:30:06 And then take one step towards it.
16:30:15 You are not stuck.
16:30:18 And if you keep telling yourself you're stuck,
16:30:21 do a creation cycle on that.
16:30:25 You're just in default mode.
16:30:27 And now you know why. The motivational triad, it explains it all.
16:30:32 It explains our habit… our habit pattern…
16:30:36 habit patterns.
16:30:39 Okay, here are three truths. Your brain seeks pleasure, avoids pain, and conserves energy.
16:30:45 Totally normal. That's what it was made to do.
16:30:47 The thoughts that you allow,
16:30:49 Create the feelings that drive your actions.
16:30:53 If you want different results,
16:30:56 You need to find different thoughts.
16:30:58 on purpose.
16:31:01 that drive emotions.
16:31:03 that drive the actions that you want to take.
16:31:20 Thank you so much for being here this week. Remember that life coaching is life-changing, one renewed thought at a time.
