How to Stop Living From Lies and Start Renewing Your Mind
The Christian Life Coach Podcast, Episode 67
The lies you believe about yourself eventually shape the way you live.
They affect your relationships, emotional patterns, habits, boundaries, self-care, and sense of identity.
In this post, we’re talking about how lies become practiced protection strategies and how to begin replacing them with truth intentionally.
Lies Become Behaviors
The thoughts you repeatedly believe eventually become patterns.
Examples include:
people pleasing
emotional shutdown
perfectionism
procrastination
isolation
overperforming
hyper-independence
Many of these behaviors began as protection strategies.
Protection and Connection Pull in Opposite Directions
You cannot experience deep connection while constantly hiding.
You cannot experience belonging while rejecting yourself first.
You cannot experience peace while rehearsing shame constantly.
Identify the Lie Clearly
You cannot change vague shame.
You need to identify the underlying belief:
I’m not enough
I don’t belong
I’m too much
I always fail
Nobody cares about me
Naming the lie weakens its power.
Separate Facts From Interpretation
Painful experiences are real.
But there is a difference between:
“I failed”
and
“I am a failure.”
Learning to separate facts from interpretation changes everything.
Practice Truth Repeatedly
Renewing your mind requires intentional repetition.
Truth often feels unfamiliar at first because lies have been practiced longer.
This process includes:
thought interruption
journaling
scripture
gratitude
aligned action
consistency
Identity Changes Through Action
You reinforce truth not only through thinking differently, but through acting differently.
Small consistent actions create new evidence and new pathways.
You are not stuck forever.
Practiced patterns can change.
And every time you interrupt a lie and replace it with truth, you are becoming someone new.
Watch Here
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The lies you believe about yourself are not staying in your head.
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They are shaping
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how you love yourself and other people.
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How you lead yourself,
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How you show up in the world.
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how you connect with other people, how you rest,
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how you respond or react.
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What you avoid, what you tolerate,
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your expectations of yourself and others.
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And what you believe is even possible for your life.
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And if we're going to stop living,
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from the lies we're believing,
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We cannot stop at just being aware of them. We have to start practicing.
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the truth.
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Welcome to the Christian Life Coach Podcast. I am Shanna, your Christian life coach.
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We have been talking this month about…
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the lies that we believe and the impact that they have on our life.
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Episode 64, we talked about noticing.
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Those lies, episode 65, we talked about the lies that attack our identity.
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who we believe we are.
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Last episode, episode 67,
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I talked about why it is that these lies feel so true.
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That is such a good episode. If you have not listened, please go back and listen.
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And today, I'm bringing it all together.
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Because awareness is…
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vital. It is so important.
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And also, it can't stop at awareness.
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a lot of… a lot of us can identify the lie. We know that it's a lie,
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But we keep living from it, because we don't know how to change it.
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We don't know how to go from believing the lie
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to living from the truth.
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So today, I'm going to talk about how… how the lies shape
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your actual life, my actual life,
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how they affect our behaviors and impact our relationships.
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And then, how to… how to begin to move from awareness into practicing
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living from truth.
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If you haven't listened to the rest of this month's episodes, please go back and listen.
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Please like, subscribe, comment, share.
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all of the things, write a review. I would so appreciate 5-star reviews.
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That would be amazing.
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And the more that the episodes, no matter where you are listening or watching,
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The more that people are
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engaging, liking, commenting, sharing, subscribing, the more these episodes will be pushed out, and the more
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people can be helped.
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So, today we are talking about the actual impact that believing these lies
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has on us. They… they don't just stay inside of our head.
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They, um…
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They're not benign. They don't knot.
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have an impact.
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they become behaviors.
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they shape our emotional patterns,
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They shape how we…
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we are… get caught up in self-sabotage loops.
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They become coping mechanisms.
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They form habits,
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They drive our reactions, they impact the way that we relate to other people,
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Our self-care, our boundaries,
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Our leadership of ourselves,
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And what vulnerability looks like for us.
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It might look like…
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When we behave from this place of believing lies,
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We might overperform.
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We might…
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get caught up in people-pleasing.
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We might hide. We might shut down emotionally.
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We might avoid vulnerability.
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engage in habitual procrastination.
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get caught up in constant comparison.
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We might be staying small.
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We might not ask for help.
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might isolate?
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get caught up in thinking that we constantly need reassurance.
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lies could lead to…
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Naming.
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doom scrolling, pretending not to care.
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Some of the behaviors that you think are just your personality,
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are actually practiced protection strategies.
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driven by bias that you believe about you.
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So, some examples of protection strategies…
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And I'm going back to some of the… some of the lies that I have used as examples this month.
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I'm not lovable.
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your check… I can't talk. Your protection strategy
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might be people-pleasing.
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Overperforming!
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Needing reassurance.
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Fear of honesty.
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fear of conflict, avoiding conflict.
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Avoiding saying what's true.
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And all in an effort to try to earn
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you're worse.
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Another one is, I don't belong.
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And the protection strategy is isolating.
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To keep you from feeling the rejection of not belonging.
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You might be staying surface level in relationships. You might avoid
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groups.
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And what you end up doing is you pre-reject yourself.
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And you avoid vulnerability with other people, because you don't trust
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that they're going to accept you, because you have convinced yourself that you don't belong.
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I'm too much.
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The protection strategy is you shrink, you stay small.
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You keep yourself silent.
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You don't say the things.
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You don't ask for help. You suppress your emotions.
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So that your passion
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isn't seen.
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Because you're telling yourself you're too much.
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people can't handle you.
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Another one is, I always fail.
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And this protection strategy looks like procrastination, because if I procrastinate,
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Then, I have the excuse for
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why it didn't turn out better.
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you quit quickly. You avoid…
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putting in effort.
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It looks like perfectionism, and never really…
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trying, because if it can't be perfect,
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What's the point, right?
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And what happens is…
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you fail ahead of time.
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you pre-fail.
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Because you believe, I always fail anyway.
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Nobody cares about me.
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Another lie.
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it… the protection strategies are you shut down emotionally,
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pretend that you don't need people.
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I don't care what they think, right?
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maybe bitterness, hyper-independence?
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Any… any hyper-independent in the house, I'm raising my hand.
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I'm raising both hands.
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And…
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such an important piece of this in this awareness and understanding.
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is to be so compassionate with yourself.
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Because these patterns weren't developed just randomly.
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Some of these patterns, most of these patterns,
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were four-year protection at one point.
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They… whatever it was, you may have needed it to survive emotionally,
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In the environment that you were in, or you thought you did.
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But these survivor… survival patterns
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aren't healthy long-term patterns.
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They were meant to protect you short-term.
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And so eventually, what has
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protected us in the past from pain, from painful experiences.
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has led to disconnection.
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has kept us from growth and healing.
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has kept us from connecting
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With ourselves and with those around us.
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And protection…
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And connection pull in opposite directions. If I'm protecting myself,
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then I am not fully able to connect
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with another person.
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You can't experience
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deep connection.
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When you're always trying to hide.
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You can't experience intimacy.
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When you're always in performance mode.
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You cannot experience
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the feeling of belonging.
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When you're in that pre-rejection mode, when you are rejecting yourself,
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not giving other people the opportunity.
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to accept you.
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to welcome you in.
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And you cannot experience peace
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When you're constantly practicing,
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the emotion of shame.
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You cannot be in peace.
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And in shame at the same time.
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And this… these lies impact
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all of the areas of our lives.
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It impacts our marriages,
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Our friendships, how we parent,
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Our church relationships, our volunteer situations,
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any leadership that we hold, self-leadership, our businesses, our health,
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reaching goals are emotional maturity.
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If I have a leave, I'll… I never follow through.
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Then I stopped trusting myself.
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If I believe I'm always behind,
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I'm in perpetual comparison and urgency.
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if I believe I don't matter,
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then I'm going to end up neglecting myself over and over and over again.
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So…
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now what? We have that awareness, we see…
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where… where the lies are impacting us, right?
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So, how do we change?
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What do I do?
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you start…
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noticing.
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start practicing and not expecting perfection.
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not expecting overnight change.
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But… practically.
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And I love practically because it's practice.
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Practice… practiceily?
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It takes… it's practice, so…
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Number one is identify the lie
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clearly.
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You can't change…
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vague shame.
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You want to name it, whatever that lie is.
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What is… what is the…
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the… the lie that's having its way under the surface. And it might feel like… it might be, like, a collection of lies, but what is the, like, the underlying specific lie?
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I'm not enough. I'm behind.
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I'm a failure, I don't belong.
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Nobody likes me, or I'm unlikable, I'm too much.
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I don't matter.
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If it stays vague,
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if it's broad and undefined, it stays powerful.
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So we want to bring it into the light.
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We want to give it air.
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So you want to be specific and name the lie that you've been believing.
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So that's number one, name the lie.
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Number two is ask yourself,
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How has this belief been affecting me in these different areas?
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in my emotional life.
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The way that I react.
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in situations, my habits,
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my relationships.
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My self-care.
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my willingness to be seen.
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Because we often will minimize the cost
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of believing the lies. So we want to name the lie,
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And we want to… we want to identify the impact that it's had in specific areas, in specific ways,
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In our life.
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And then we want to separate the facts.
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from the stories that we tell about the facts.
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We're not diff… we're not denying, we're not gaslighting, we're not bulldozing.
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We're questioning the meaning that we've assigned
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to these…
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situations, the things that have happened.
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And it could be, I failed…
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at specific thing,
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But then you interpreted that as, I am a failure.
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Maybe you were excluded…
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from a group of people at one time.
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And the lie that you have believed since that is, I don't belong.
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Maybe you were hurt in a relationship. Maybe you experienced…
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a betrayal, or some other…
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type of break in a relationship, and you interpreted that to mean
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Nobody will ever love me. I'm unlovable.
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And when we separate the fact,
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from the story that we're telling about the fact,
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It changes everything.
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Is it true that I am unlovable?
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No, there are people that love me.
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God loves me, so it is not true that I am unlovable.
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But I've been believing that story for a really long time because of that one situation.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:53:50
And then ask, what is actually true? Not what feels true.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:53:55
Not what you think is true, but what is actually true.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:53:58
True. Does it align with Scripture?
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:03
Does it align with who God says you are?
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:07
Is it factual?
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:12
And…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:14
I want to say this, the truth is not…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:18
It is rarely, actually, the loudest voice in your head.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:22
The truth, often, when we've been believing these lies,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:27
The truth has been drowned out.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:31
Over and over and over again.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:34
by the lies that we tell ourselves, by the same that we experience.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:42
So it doesn't… it's not gonna feel true.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:46
Because we have been collecting evidence to the contrary for so…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:51
Long.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:54
So, name the lie.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:54:59
explore, list out, write out the impact that that lie has had on your life.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:06
Separate the truth, the facts,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:08
from the story that you tell about that… the facts.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:11
what you make the facts mean about you.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:15
And then, what is actually true?
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:18
what aligns with God's Word?
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:22
Knowing that that truth…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:26
has been drowned out. It's… it's going to be very quiet at first.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:30
And then, practice the truth repeatedly.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:36
This is where transformation begins.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:40
Renewing your mind.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:43
is repetitive.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:45
You have practiced these lies,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:49
For years, maybe decades,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:52
So, of course…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:54
The truth feels unfamiliar.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:55:57
But it doesn't mean that it's not true.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:02
It just means that
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:03
the truth has been
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:06
unpracticed.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:08
The lies have been practiced, and the truth
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:11
has been… ignored.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:19
we don't replace lies accidentally.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:24
or emotionally, or instantly.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:27
We replace the lies intentionally.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:31
With intention, through.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:32
Repetition. Awareness.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:36
journaling, thought interruption,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:39
patching those lies.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:41
and replacing them with the truth.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:43
Gratitude, scripture,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:47
Aligned action, emotional responsibility, and consistency.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:52
Practice, practice, practice.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:55
It's never a one-and-done thing. It is a continual…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:56:59
A continual practice.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:02
And the truth is going to feel awkward before it feels natural.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:07
The new thought, the new thought that is actually true is not going to feel true at first.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:16
Again, the lie feels true because it's been practiced for years.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:20
The truth feels uncomfortable.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:23
Because it is… it is contradicting the familiar pathways.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:29
It's totally normal. So we're not going to quit practicing the truth,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:33
Just because the lie feels more familiar.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:37
notice it. Oh.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:39
I'm having a hard time believing this, because I've believed the lie for so long.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:45
And you replace lies not just with the truth of the way that you're thinking, but the way that you act.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:54
You replace the lies with repeated
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:57:58
action that reinforces the truth.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:00
If you want to believe,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:02
I am becoming a woman who follows through.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:06
then it's going to take…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:08
Practicing small,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:10
areas of consistency.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:13
making a promise to yourself and keeping it, even if it's little, and it should be little at first.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:19
Doing what you said you would do.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:22
This is slowly building evidence.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:25
to support the actual truth.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:29
If I want to believe that I belong, that I bring the belonging with me wherever I go,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:36
Then, it's going to take me practicing
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:40
engaging with other people.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:42
Reaching out, saying yes.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:45
When I'm invited to something.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:47
Being present,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:49
Even when it feels uncomfortable, even when the lie comes back in, you don't belong, you don't belong.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:54
You catch the lie, and you interrupt the pattern, and you stay.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:58:59
And you allow…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:01
opportunities for connection.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:05
these identity shifts,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:11
you take…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:13
the identity shifts.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:16
through your practiced action.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:20
As you're telling yourself the truth,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:23
And acting in alignment with that truth, your identity.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:27
will shift.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:29
it takes time.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:32
And again, this…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:34
I mean, everything I talk about in this podcast is
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:38
the work of renewing your mind.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:42
This work is…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:45
Renewing your mind intentionally, repetitively,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:49
Practically, through practice,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:52
Emotionally, spiritually, relationally. It's not passive, it's not one and done,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 15:59:58
It is a daily, minutely, hourly practice of learning to agree with the truth.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:05
Rather than the lie.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:08
And this is also… it's not just…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:11
renewing your mind.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:13
It is rewiring your brain.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:17
It is changing the actual…
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:19
Neuropathways in your brain.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:26
I know that you can feel
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:29
like, you're stuck in these patterns. It's just who you are, you can't change it, but that is not true. That in itself is a lie.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:36
You are not stuck in these patterns.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:39
You have practiced these patterns,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:42
And you can practice different patterns. You can change these patterns.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:47
New pathways can form.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:49
in your brain. New thoughts that are true,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:54
When practiced, will become
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:00:58
More and more familiar.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:01
And then the lie.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:03
will feel like it's an actual lie.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:07
And it doesn't happen through expecting perfection,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:10
It's consistent.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:13
renewal through practice.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:16
Practice, practice.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:21
In closing, you… you do not become free from lies by accidentally
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:26
thinking differently once, or even on purpose, thinking differently once.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:31
you become free from these lies, you start releasing your grip on the lies,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:37
And the lies start releasing their grip from you when you are practicing the truth
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:44
repeatedly until it becomes more familiar than the lies.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:49
And the process is going to feel slow sometimes.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:54
But every time you interrupt a lie,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:57
And replace it with the truth?
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:01:59
Every time you take that aligned action, showing up in alignment with the truth,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:05
You're changing.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:08
One renewed thought at a time.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:13
Again, I would love it if you would go back, listen to the previous episodes, like,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:19
Share, comment, subscribe, follow, whatever, wherever you are listening or watching this episode. If you could do the things that are available to you, I would so appreciate it.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:31
If you would write a review, give me 5 stars,
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:35
I would so appreciate that, and again, it helps to
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:39
push the podcast episodes out to
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:42
more people that could be impacted
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:46
And… and learn to walk, and to believe that they are.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:52
who God says they are.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:54
Thank you so much for being here.
[Shanna Pyzer | shannapyzer.com] 16:02:56
Remember that life coaching is life-changing, one renewed thought at a time.
